Thanks for the suggestions..
I suspect that things like IRC, as already mentioned, there's already groups with that kind of stuff running anyway.
I am wondering though but people actually use the forum chat feature if I install that extension I mentioned earlier ? I suppose my girlfriend would have to login to some "chat site" anyway so it might as well be the forum I suppose..
The PM system works for most things. Just a little bit slow and annoying for basically throw away messages..
The only problem I see with a chat system is that it could potentially take content away from forum topics... Mostly we have discussion like the DFB1 stuff etc. But if all that "talk" went on in the message system, they are not really "public view" and the content will basically be lost. Its why I like forums as its saved and search engine friendly.
I really suck to the community really.. I can probably install the extension and see people find it useful or not

it be a lot easier than trying to install some other software and maintain it etc