Kitty cannon returns (sort of)

[exxos]

Still need several more people to help me out..

[PhilC]

Well, I had exactly one go, it got to over 3000 and needed to be upgraded

[exxos]

Well, I had exactly one go, it got to over 3000 and needed to be upgraded

You do the "1 tap buy" testers get it for free. Its a "fake card simulation" while in testing.

Thanks for testing. I've given up on more people wanting to help me out and went and purchased a testing service to get the job done, so I can move onto other things.

[PhilC]

Well, I had exactly one go, it got to over 3000 and needed to be upgraded

You do the "1 tap buy" testers get it for free. Its a "fake card simulation" while in testing.

Thanks for testing. I've given up on more people wanting to help me out and went and purchased a testing service to get the job done, so I can move onto other things.

No worries, I'll try that now then.

[JezC]

You do the "1 tap buy" testers get it for free. Its a "fake card simulation" while in testing.

Thanks for testing. I've given up on more people wanting to help me out and went and purchased a testing service to get the job done, so I can move onto other things.

No worries, I'll try that now then.

I'll try it later too...

Yes, that has given me the full version

[exxos]

So jumping though all the hoops on play store.. Was.. Well... took like 50x longer to go though all the BS than it took to do the game in the first place.. I was literally loosing the will to live about 30% into it all. Total madness!

I had a second game about 80% done and even started another. But going by how much effort the whole thing took.. Just not worth it. I'd have to sell 200+ copies to even come close to breaking even. So it's highly unlikely I'll be doing any more games for the play store, or at all in fact.

But anyway...

https://play.google.com/store/apps/deta ... onfireball

[exxos]

ohhh google play survey..

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Well that was disappointing. I wanted rant on how long winded and complicated the whole thing was and how it took longer to go through all the google BS than it took to write the game in the first place. I was losing the will to live about 25% signing up with it all.. and it dragged on for a LOT longer than that. I had AI telling me what to put every step as well and took forever. If I was doing this all by myself, I would have simply given up. So much stuff you have to setup, so many questions and boxes to fill and tick. Who the hell knows what to put for it all.

As expected, sales were near zero. Actually sold 1 copy. So only made about £300 loss, nevermind the time involved. The copy sold was probably some hacking group buying it to "give it away" on some pirate site anyway. It's usually how things go.

I did have another game about 90% done and another WIP. But its clear its a waste of effort. I knew it would likely end that way. But just wanted to do something different for a change.

From what AI claims, developers just churn out lots of games and hope one sticks eventually. Brute force approach really. No thanks.

[exxos]

Just had another one of those "update or vanish" emails from Google Play. Every August they raise the minimum Android API level apps have to target, and if you don't rebuild against the new one your app gets hidden from the store. My game code hasn't changed. The Android APIs it uses haven't changed. But every year I get told to rebuild or disappear.

The "safety and security" line they use is mostly cover. Real security patches ship through Play Services and monthly system updates, not through target SDK bumps. What target SDK actually gates is behaviour changes Google wants to enforce on their timetable rather than when it makes sense for the app.

The bigger issue is what this does to older hardware. A tablet that runs perfectly well doesn't physically stop working. Google just decides its OS is too old, the OEM stopped shipping updates two years in, Play Store starts hiding apps from it, and eventually the device is "obsolete" despite the silicon being fine for another decade. Meanwhile the landfill fills up with hardware that would happily keep running for years.

Junking working hardware through software policy should be a crime. The amount of e-waste it creates is ridiculous. France has some right-to-repair laws pushing back, the EU has a 5-year update mandate for new phones from 2025, but none of it touches the app-side treadmill. UK has nothing meaningful. Older Androids just quietly die.

Bad enough that Android updates junk older hardware. Now they're junking perfectly good apps as well.

Current copies sold : 2 - At this rate the game may pay for itself in the next 500 years.

[exxos]

Google Play, mobile games, and why I'm done

Right, rant time. Put a game on Google Play a while back. Kitty Cannon: Fireball, HTML5, wrapped up as an Android app. Bit of a passion project mixed with wanting to see what mobile publishing was actually like these days. Turns out the answer is: not worth it.

The numbers

Total sales: 6. Refunds: 5. Actual money kept: about one game's worth of pocket change.

Google's refund policy is officially 2 hours through the Play Store app. In practice you can email their support two weeks later, say the app "didn't work as expected", and they'll refund you. No questions, no seller protection, no chance for the developer to push back. You made the game, they used it for a fortnight, then took their money back. Try that in any other industry and see how it goes.

Meanwhile I've had a lovely one-star review from someone complaining it's a demo. It's literally described as a demo in the store listing. Has the "in-app purchases" badge. Says the price on the unlock button. But people don't read. They tap, they play, they whinge, they refund, they leave a bad review out of spite. Wonderful.

The API level treadmill

Every August, Google raises the minimum Android API level. If you don't rebuild your app targeting the newer SDK, it gets hidden from the store. My game code hasn't changed. The APIs it uses haven't changed. But every year I have to rebuild and reupload or vanish.

The "safety and security" line they use is mostly cover. Real security patches ship through Play Services and monthly system updates, not through target SDK bumps. What target SDK actually gates is behaviour changes Google wants to force on their timetable rather than when it makes sense for the app.

The bigger issue is what this does to older hardware. A tablet that runs perfectly well doesn't physically stop working. Google just decides its OS is too old, the OEM stopped shipping updates two years in, Play Store starts hiding apps from it, and eventually the device is "obsolete" despite the silicon being fine for another decade. Meanwhile the landfill fills up with kit that would happily keep running for years.

Planned obsolescence, the bigger picture

And it's not just tablets and phones. Look at any modern appliance. Washing machines that used to last 20 years now die at 5. Fridges, dishwashers, vacuum cleaners, tumble dryers, all the same story. Parts either don't exist, cost more than a new unit, or the manufacturer glued the whole thing together so you can't get inside without destroying it. Circuit boards potted in resin. Bearings pressed into sealed drums. Proprietary screws. It's not accidental, it's deliberate. They design them to fail out of warranty and be impossible to fix. Buy another one. Landfill fills up. Repeat.

Everyone knows it. Anyone who's tried to repair a modern appliance has hit the wall of no spares, no manuals, no schematics, proprietary connectors, welded plastic. It's insulting to anyone with any technical ability at all, and it's ruinous for people who can't afford to keep replacing things.

Governments could do something about it. The EU has taken a swing with right-to-repair rules and forced update mandates. France requires repairability scores on some products. It's a start, at least. The UK's response has been paper straws in your Coke. That's the level of engagement we're getting. Meanwhile perfectly good kit goes to the tip every day because some accountant decided a 5-year lifespan was more profitable than a 20-year one, and nobody in Westminster can see past the next photo op.

Mind boggles at the incompetence, but that's a rant for another day. We all know about it. Nothing changes.

The business model

Google's supposed to be the platform. That's what the 15-30% cut is for. Bringing buyers to sellers. In reality: nothing. My game got zero visibility from Google. If I wanted eyes on it I'd have to pay them again for "promoted" placement, on top of the cut they already take, on top of the annual compliance treadmill, on top of the refund abuse.

I'm doing all the work. They're taking a cut for hosting a listing that nobody sees unless I bring them there myself. That's not a platform, that's a landlord charging rent on a shop with no passing trade.

The wider picture

Age of "everything for free" is back with a vengeance. People genuinely believe games should cost nothing, or if they do pay, that they can just claw it back afterwards. Two quid for weeks of somebody's work, and they still want a refund. Meanwhile the same people are paying a fiver for coffee without blinking.

Louis Rossmann's line, and where it breaks down

Louis Rossmann has that line, not trying is 100% fail. I've always liked it and I generally agree with it. But there's a flip side he doesn't dwell on. When you've tried enough different things over enough years, you get pretty good at reading the market before you start. You already know the outcome. Saturated app store, no discovery, zero platform support, refund abuse baked in, algorithm won't show your work unless you pay them again. You can see the failure coming from the planning stage.

At what point does "not trying is 100% fail" become "trying is also 100% fail, just with weeks of my life burned first"? Because I went into this knowing it would flop for all the reasons above, and it flopped for exactly those reasons. The odds were stacked against it from before I wrote the first line of code. That's not defeatism, that's pattern recognition. After enough attempts you stop calling it pessimism and start calling it experience.

I had another game nearly finished. Ideas for a third. Both shelved now. Because the maths doesn't work. To make anything at all off mobile you have to be a publisher pumping out dozens of games a year hoping one of them sticks. AI tooling makes it faster to build, sure, but the treadmill of compliance, refund abuse, API bumps, review policing, developer verification, and platform gatekeeping just gets worse every year.

I understand now why Google wants to kill sideloading. Not because sideloaded apps are dangerous. Because they can't take a cut, can't force refunds, can't demand API bumps, can't dictate terms. That's the actual reason.

One final thought

The whole point of this was that I wanted to build a Gen-X style game. Basically what we used to call shareware. Free demo, if you like it you pay a small one-off price, roughly half a Starbucks coffee, and you own it forever. Play it offline, no ads, no subscription, no data harvesting, no manipulative "spend gems to continue" nonsense. I genuinely cannot stand games plastered with adverts and I refuse to build one.

But that model is dead. People today don't understand the concept. They want it free, or they want it free with ads. Paying a small one-off amount for something you actually own seems to be a lost idea. If nobody's willing to pay for the thing, why bother making it?

Everything's subscriptions and ad revenue now. That's just how it is. Annoying as it is.

Anyway. Not much of a surprise it flopped, I knew going in it probably would. Wanted the experience of seeing what mobile publishing actually looks like. Now I know. Bottom line, Don't bother !

[wub]

What an amazing game! It's so addictive and I've got nothing else done tonight

I'd love to know how you did that game over song, is it AI generated?