Right, on a less outlandish note, I have recce'd the hall and here are the details:
First thing to note, is that there is a
7 ft height restriction at the entry point to the site. If this is a problem for anyone, let me know.
There are 10 (+2 for disabled) parking spaces outside the hall, with 20+ more available 30+ paces further (to the left of the photo):

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Theres a nice park behind the hall, if the weather is nice and you want some RnR:

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Next up is PA/AV facilities: (mainly for
@Icky's benefit)
There is a Behringer 12Ch mixer with both phono and XLR connections, an amp and some speakers and a spare mic or two (though I would recommend you bring one, as they were described as a bit 'ropey'; I can bring some, PM me as needed).

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Also available is a pretty good projector: (NEC PA522U)

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(Looks like there's a BNC RGBHV input, but perhaps we need to check the input scanrate range? Does the Phoenix output combined or separate sync?)
along with an estimated 15ft wide screen (which is rolled up in the top behind a curtain):

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The hall is approximately 50ft x 32ft and the stage is around 12ft x 32ft: (photo of the main hall from the edge of the stage)

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There are around 40 6ft x 2'3ft tables along with 150 chairs, so no problem there:

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Power points; Not many in the main hall (around 5), but there are 5 on stage, 6 in the kitchen and 2 in the foyer, so I will bring some extensions to cope...the amount being dictated by the final exhibitor number. (
@stephen_usher is quite a clever chap, so I hope the reality of the power requirements is closer to his estimation than any panic driven fantasies I may have!)
Kitchen Facilities:
This is mainly for
@viking272 as I'm hoping he will take charge of this department for me! :D
There is an urn, a fridge freezer, a sink and a few teaspoons. So I guess it's bring some paper plates, if you are thinking of anything food wise:

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Ok, that's it for now. If I have forgotten any details or anyone would like to know more about anything, just get in touch here and I will try to answer.
It was a bit of luck with the projector...they don't normally allow it to be used (as they only have it there for their own cinema club), but the caretaker who showed me around used to be an engineer/operator of IBM mainframes in the 70s-80s, so had quite an affinity towards the event! :yay2: